The Unguarded Heart is for cis-women who are called to walk with others even as their lives have been shaped by childhood experiences of gender violence or sexual violation, interpersonal or systemic, either personally or through family systems or communities.

Much of the mainstream conversation surrounding trauma addresses single-incident trauma, such as an accident, event or natural disaster. Complex trauma, on the other hand, is repeated, relational and extraordinarily difficult to disentangle as past, present and future blur inside a body wired for survival.

Complex trauma obliterates the experiencer’s sense of safety, particularly in intimate relationships, because intimacy and interpersonal violence are so thoroughly interconnected. As Diane Fosha aptly says, “Trauma compromises the capacity to trust, to be vulnerable and to surrender to experience”.

In The Unguarded Heart we normalize relational defenses and deeply entrenched trauma responses by recognizing them as they come up. We don’t try to deconstruct them. We practice staying in the moment and encouraging each participant to tolerate taking up space, speaking up, and staying aligned with themselves even if it may take time from, or seemingly inconvenience another group member.

Together, we help each woman move from a place where, as my mentor says, “we willfully refuse to accept positive feedback” to experientially learning or relearning to tolerate affection, admiration, delight, daring to nourish ourselves through connection. Gradually, belief in ourselves builds and we begin to trust our capacity to safely navigate intimate relationships as together, we practice being held.

Whether or not group members choose to talk openly about their experiences, my intention is to create a community where women can experience a freedom of self-expression by laying down the responsibility for how their stories may impact others.